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Personal Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy: Heartache, Healing, and Hope


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Many people feel that there are no easy answers when facing an unplanned pregnancy, and there are so many reasons why facing the challenges that an unplanned pregnancy brings can be difficult.  Worries over losing your job, your partner, financial concerns, or fears surrounding whether you will be able to complete your education may all play a role.  People or circumstances may be putting pressure on you to make a quick decision, or to make a particular decision.  Regardless of all of these pressures, you do have a choice in the matter.  Give yourself the time and space you need to think things through, talk things through, and to think about so many other things beyond the immediate concerns.

Debbie's Story

Please see the youtube video above for Debbie's Story.  Debbie was already a single mum, facing financial difficulty, and living with her parents when she learned that she was pregnant.  Debbie describes the fact that she was afraid, and that this fear of sharing the news of pregnancy with her parents or anyone else was the number one factor that prevented her from reaching out and getting support until she had been pregnant for several months.  Debbie felt trapped because she did not wish to parent another child, did not feel comfortable with the idea of terminating her pregnancy, and did not want to place a child for adoption.  She felt that she had no where to turn, until she visited her local pregnancy centre to learn about the options available to her, and ultimately, she chose adotpion.  At Options, we're here to support women facing this type of difficulty, and to offer free, confidential, unbiased counselling to women who face unplanned pregnancy.  If you would like to chat, please contact us.

Margaret's Story

In an interview series done by the BBC focussing on women who have terminated pregnancies, the BBC interviewed Margaret. Now 60, Margaret shares that she has experienced two unplanned pregnancies during her life, and both of these placed her in crisis situations.  After having a relationship with a married co-worker at the age of 26, Margaret found herself pregnant for the first time.  Although the baby was originally a considered blessing in Margaret's mind, when the father announced he would be returning to his wife, Margaret felt betrayed, hurt, and realised she was in crisis.  At this point, Margaret wanted to believe that her pregnancy was not "a real baby", and experiencing a sense of shame and hurt from being pregnant by a man who had left her, Margaret chose abortion.  Nine years later, the situation essentially repeated itself, as Margaret became involved with another married co-worker.  Due to her age, Margaret thought she wouldn’t need to use protection, and was faced once again with the emotional decision of how to handle her unplanned pregnancy. She felt very alone, and she again believed she had no choice other than abortion.  Margaret did schedule a termination, but this time, for unknown reasons, the procedure was not successful.  10 weeks later, Margaret went back in for a scan because her periods had not returned, and she saw the 12-week-old baby’s beating heart on an ultrasound.  Seeing the heartbeat had a big impact on Margaret, and she realised she couldn’t go through with her termination. That decision led to the life of her now 23 year old daughter. Margaret recalls the feeling of love when her daughter was born, that overpowered her fear of becoming a mother under difficult circumstances.

Tasha's Story

In a recent interview, the BBC spoke with Tasha Danvers, who was a high-caliber athlete with dreams of olympic glory when she found out she was pregnant.  (See full story here.) Although she was married and financially stable, Tasha could not believe how difficult the timing of her pregnancy was.  She was afraid that going through with her pregnancy might mean giving up all of the hard work, effort, and crowning achievements her olympic career would mean to her.  Tasha strongly considered terminating her pregnancy, but at the same time, she felt strongly aware of her values and knew deep down that she could not go through with an abortion.  When she pictured herself termating her pregnancy and then heading to the olympics, she believed that the emotional and psychological impact of having a termination would prevent her from doing her best anyway. She chose to give brith to her son, and in the end, she was still able to accomplish her olympic dream -- only a little later than her original plan, and she is glad that her son is with her today.

If you, like Debbie, Tasha, or Margaret, are feeling overwhelmed or alone and facing an unplanned pregnancy, give yourself the time and space you need to make an unrushed decision.

 

Sometimes it can help to speak with a supportive person who is not emotionally involved in your current situation, and if you would like to do this, help is available. You are welcome to call Options for a chat at 020 8540 7675.


 
 
 

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